"It Is a Tough Struggle With Setbacks, But We Are Succeeding."

Posted a new picture (taken during the Holiday season) and updated the only stat I have (which is my poundage). As you can see neither of these things seem to be moving in a positive direction. I know that photos are not always the best source and a number on the scale does NOT (should not) equal myself worth. However, I cannot help but feel like this is a big obstacle and that I gave up on my goals and me.

If you have a setback, and you are not doing well and then you overcome it somehow, it always sticks with you. You know it could happen again.
- Sam Donaldson

I can say that I have not thrown in the towel, I WILL NOT yield to bad/old habits this time (regardless of the hurdle).

I have too often just quit when I have had a setback. Either deciding to start over, when things get too out of hand or, when motivation [finally] smacks me upside the head.

For example in December, I felt that things were very poor in my life and I knew that I was into bad habits. My gym decided to shut down and it was my only workout. Finding a new way to workout was going to require a major overhaul to my lifestyle. I would need to spend way more money than I was, join a "random" gym (which did not work for me in the past), walk etc outside (my workout friend not a fan of this), or go to something that is before work or after 7pm.

I gave up on Working out. Not exercising made me f-up my pattern of eating, since I was filling my body full of junk (with excuses and justifications) it behooved me to ignore the crap I was putting in my body I and stopped logging my habits.

As I was falling into my "normal" death spiral, I gave in to emotional eating. Spiked off the charts & looked for booze and junk food to silence my feelings of remorse and disgrace. I was faking positivity, by telling myself garbage such as, "I think I need to re-boot my plans and give a little extra effort" (that will fix things) and "I am going to take a break from all of this and start again, when I am calm and more in control."

I am sad about the disastrous choices I made in December. In spite of this, I refuse to concede defeat. I will keep my goals this is NOT a new starting point, just a bump in the road. I am just going to work on very small things. By not giving in (plus changing my behavior), I will be able to work on my health goals, mind powers, and a happier environment.

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I knew that I did not have to buy into society's notion that I had to be handsome and healthy to be happy. I was in charge of my "spaceship" and it was my up, my down. I could choose to see this situation as a setback or as a starting point. I chose to begin life again.
- Warren Mitchell

"An Active Mind Cannot Exist In an Inactive Body."

Current updates to the look of the site. Other than that I hope I set of wonderful words will be forthcoming.

The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed. When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants.
- Theodore Roosevelt

OK Teddy I you are right, I have my ends bassackwards

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Anguish of mind has driven thousands to suicide; anguish of body, none. This proves that the health of the mind is of far more consequence to our happiness than the health of the body, although both are deserving of much more attention than either of them receive.
- Charles Caleb Colton

"The starting point of all achievement is desire."

So hello everyone, Ces't Moi - Steph - and this is my new blog. I last posted on My Old Blog on Monday, April 27, 2009, and haven't written a thing since. I had goals, ideas, plans ... and I kinda gave up. However, with the start of my new like for Google+ I redisovered my joy of creating websites, (amoung other things) and while redesinging this blog I came across this quote.

To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly.
- William James

OK Mr William James, Let's do it. 

I am sick of believing that my children/Grandchildren/co-workers will remember me as the person that always talked about her fat. Here are all the things that will transpire with Stephanie Shedding her Superfluous Stout.

I will no longer groan every time my photo is taken with my family 'cause I am thinking how terrible I am going to make the family picture look, 'cause I stick out like a sore thumb. I will not feel somewhat icky when I sit on a toilet since I am spilling over the sides.

I will get to the point where getting dressed every morning is a joy and not a dreaded chore. When that happens, I will love wearing a low cut sweater so that my collarbones show (love that part).

Losing this weight and getting healthy will make it so my back does not hurt so much.

The best things, the BIG things about me tending to a crucial hale and hearty state ... my self-esteem, quality of my life, and my overall health will improve beyond my brain's current capacity.

Perhaps with my new and improved self-esteem I will stop thinking mean thoughts when I see skinny women. In addition, I will no longer wonder if people are saying, "What is HE doing with HER "? I will just love being with him.

With that, I am sure I will have increased motivation and be able to finally prove to myself that I can do it/something.

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Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
- Raymond Lindquist